Oh boy...here we go again

The lyrics to OK GO!'s "Here it Goes Again" definitely have a meaning to me today:

"Just when you think that you're in control, just when you think that you've got a hold, just when you get on a roll, here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again. I should have known, should have known, should have known again, but here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again."

The POTS symptoms keep coming back. Today, of course I am tired. I always am. But today I have a "pressure headache". Not quite a migraine, but not quite a normal kind of headache. The headache is mainly focused on the front right section of my head. At least it's not my entire head that aches!! My vision is a bit altered because of it too. That worries me sometimes, but it's still rather normal-ish. I can't see really far, but that's okay because I have glasses. If I could actually wear the glasses, that would be nice! Wearing the glasses puts additional pressure on my head, so it's not always a good idea to have glasses on or a headband. Thankfully I was able to blow-dry my hair today so that I don't necessarily need a headband. 

I thought the day started off smoothly. I was able to shower, get dressed, and even blow-dry my hair. I look pretty good today. But, I don't feel as great as I look. I have more tremulousness again, especially in my hands. It appears as if I am nervous or anxious or something like that. The problem is that I am not nervous or anxious so having shaky hands is quite distracting. I also have a difficult time verbally expressing myself today. I can come up with words on paper or through online communication, but speaking is difficult today. So, talking, headaches, tremulousness, and fatigue....great. I was really looking forward to a decent day today. I think it should get better, at least that is what I am hoping for! :) 

It is all just really frustrating when I try and try and try and try to get better and I am doing everything that I am supposed to be doing. I just have not felt any of the results from my hard work. I have never expected the hard work to give a very fast response, but I was hoping for at least some kind of result. It's almost as if I worked on a term paper for weeks and weeks and I turn it in early, and then I didn't receive the grade for the paper for several months later. That's what it feels like. It will get better though. Soon enough I will see results :)