I am getting better. I know this for a fact. I can vacuum. I can drive. I can finally ride a bicycle! I haven't rode a bike since I first got symptoms of P.O.T.S. in fear that I would pass out or not be able to make it back home if I were to ride a good distance. I can do a lot now.
But my mind wants to do more. Go further. Push harder. But I know I can't do that just yet. I am so driven to push towards recovery, but I am not physically strong enough to do things that I want to do. That's incredibly difficult to handle. It's not like I'm depressed or terribly upset, but it sometimes makes me frustrated because my body does not cooperate with my determination! I'm feeling better and better each day so I get impatient. I want to continue to feel better but in less time! I want to be normal again. I know that is the goal of every person with a chronic condition also, just to feel better and feel a sense of normalcy.
I am extremely lucky. I have a diagnosis. I have a bright prognosis. I am starting recovery. I have such a wonderful support system of my family, boyfriend, and friends. I am lucky. I just have to realize that becoming "normal" again does take some time. If I continue pushing myself as I am doing now, I will feel even better in a faster time. So that is my hope! I am strong, and I will become stronger :)
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