Well I did hear back from my doctor and nurses. I will be on 40 mg Nadolol in the mornings along with the 10 mg Midodrine (3 times a day) so that my body can kick itself into gear...hopefully!! I have to continue what I am doing now with the water, salt, Gatorade, and exercise. So, overall it is okay, but I still don't like waiting for results. I am doing everything that I am supposed to be doing. I listen and ask questions. It's just that the doctors don't know how else to help me besides putting me on more medications. That's frustrating. And, of course, when they put me on new medications, I have to wait at least a week or so to reevaluate whether the medication is helping or not. Have I mentioned that I don't like waiting......????!!
Being patient is tough when I'm doing everything right. I just want to see some kind of results from all of my hard work towards feeling better. It's frustrating when I have to give up a few things in order to be functioning at a semi-normal level. Of course I am very exhausted and brain fogged every hour, every day. My schoolwork is being affected by the brain fogging especially because I have a very small window of opportunity to work on my homework or study for tests. I cannot comprehend information as well as I used to, I get very forgetful so I must keep 4 calendars and 1 daily planner to keep me organized so I won't forget anything, and I cannot participate in class or even life as much because I cannot vocalize what I am thinking or I am in such a phase that I don't know what's going on around me sometimes.
Being a smart cookie, I know a lot of information. Learning is my passion. I cannot succeed in learning when I am so brain fogged all of the time. School is my life. I love it! But, I do not enjoy it when I am struggling so much to simply comprehend what my professors are saying in classes. I have stress when I cannot complete homework assignments or projects at the level that I used to. Yes, I am a perfectionist. Yes, I have limitations. But why does that mean I cannot perform well in school as much as I have in the past?? I don't understand why there is such a change with my brain fogging and fatigue. I don't understand how I was doing so well last year and now I am not so well. I thought that the uphill climb was over. I guess this is just another mountain I have to climb before I reach the peak--until I get better.
Man it is tough though! It is tough when doctors tell you that you are doing everything right and they are conflicted as to what they should do or say to me. It feels as though I am the puzzle, and since I have a difficult solution, the doctors put me off for awhile and walk away, or they just have misplaced the box with the picture on it showing them what the solution is. I am frustrated. I am struggling. But I still am pushing through. I am trying to prove that a person with POTS will never give up no matter what crap they are dealt. I am trying to show doctors that I am a fighter, and I will win this battle some way, somehow. I just have to wait to feel the results of all of my hard work...
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